Mousse for breakfast and Ensure for DE-ssert . . .
Is there such a thing as a "Chicago Wrap"? Can those Chicagoans in these parts, be you current, former, or neverbeenthere, vouch for its existance one way or the other? According to the eponymously-named restaurant on Ninth Avenue, they originate from the "North Side", which truthfully could be anywhere between Rogers Park and Streeterville. And while I’m not as sharp on my Chi-Town bona fides as I used to be, I do know three things about my former hometown: 1) things there change VERY SLOWLY 2) its exports don’t come out east all that easily and 3) they usually have to become pretty goddamn ubiquoutous before ever doing so. Having never seen no outlets of said "Chicago Wrap"-or "CWrap", by the rather unfortunate shorthand of its logo-in Chicago, I’ll assume for now that the owners just pulled this name out their enterprising microentreprenureal arses.
Anyways, nomenclatural nitpicking aside, a Chicago Wrap is basically an ethnically ambiguous dosa made using a paper-thin rectangular shaped bread, grilled with a layer of cheese and stuffed with any variety of fillings, usually involving breaded chicken and heavy amounts of sauce. They proport themselves to be low fat and low carb, which may very well be the case since the "Mark’s Beef" wrap that I ordered soon fell apart in my hands. These wraps are small; a quarter the size of Chipotle’s and the tastes range from vaguely Asian (Teriyaki, Orange Beef, Crab Meat) to vaguely Greek (Gyro) to vaguely WTF (Egg and Bacon, Fried Veggie). They come accompanied with a peanut-esque sauce and a "hand salad" (a low wattage, but really quite servicable, summer roll).
The staff doesn’t give you any indications either: a Puerto Rican cashier and not a shade of Asian (South or Southeast) anywhere to be found. Point is, in the six years I’ve lived out here (and the four years contained therein where I stopped caring) I’ve always been amused by the few random instances where the word "Chicago" makes it onto a menu. Houston’s (of Nashville!) gloms the Windy City’s name onto its Spinach Artichoke dip. Mind you, there’s alot of Spinach Artichoke dip to be found across Chicagoland, but I doubt it’s native to the place. I first had it at Mickey Finn’s on Milwaukee Ave, and nobody’s going around calling it "Libertyville Dip" . . . but someone damn well should! Pizzeria Uno (no doubt in accord with the unrelated restaurant of the same name on Wabash Street) changed its name to UNO Chicago Bar & Grill, where, of course, little in the menu has much of anything to do with Chicago. And let’s not forget the Chicago Manual of Style, which just sends me into a sclerotic rage.
Equally interesting is the newly-opened "Burgers & Cupcakes" next door, housed in the former Mitchel Landon Foods. Instead of namesaking a misappropriated place, this establishment gloms onto the two most-overplayed phenomena of the NYC fast food market in the past four years. Mind you, the Cupcake revival stems all the way back to the advent of Magnolia Bakery and its various subsidiary offsprings. Andy Samberg’s protestations to the contrary, I’ve never cared much for Magnolia’s cupcakes, but they’ve got some standout Peanut Butter Icebox Pie. Better, in my view, are the cupcakes at Buttercup on 2nd, and the various Dean & Delluca locations that serve Sage’s creations. Cupcake Cafe is a longtime mainstay and Crumbs has become ubiquitous in the past year. The burger thing is a little more recent and its roots are a little less descernible. Jackson Hole has a niche for the 12 oz. market, and Island Burger has variety going for it while Blue 9 on 3rd offers plenty for the In-N-Out-lorn. Alphabet Citians and Hell’s Kitchenites have Lucky’s. And let’s not forget The Burger Joint at Le Parker, Good Burger on 2nd, and the crowing glory, SHAKE SHACK! Point being that we’ve had an awful lot of exposure to both Burgers & Cupcakes in NYC in the past few years and I’ve bypassed few opportunities to sample both. Combining the two seems, well, obvious . . . perhaps a little two obvious.
But with appetite momentarily sated by . . . heh . . . Chicago Roll . . . I only ventured to have a glance at the menu. The variety is not mind-blowing, but the woman behind the counter was absolutely delighted to allow me to peak into their TRULY MASSIVE kitchen which convinced me to give one or two items a try. The chocolate frosting is semi-sweet and, therefore, more rich and they make an impressive variety of Crullers, Tarts, and Meringues. No time for the burgers, though. They’re probably also good . . . but just that. And while riding a trend is one thing, riding two trends after both appear to have crested is something else. Certainly not a formula for success.
But I’m no prognosticator. I hung up my Food Critic hat once I graduated college. And for all I know, there may indeed be such a thing as a "Chicago Wrap". In theory there already is. Just not, of course, in Chicago itself. And maybe we’ll be eating burgers in tandom with cupcakes in perpetuity. Just not on my watch! I’ve got designs on two marathons before the end of the year and if my belly is telling me anything these days it’s to lay off the preservatives!
